Missed Connection:
It was a Thursday night and I was hosting trivia at a terrible bar full of terrible people. Except for you, that is. After a long Wednesday night of drinking and a long Thursday of recovery, I mustered enough energy to entertain the 10-15 people that were in the bar. I didn't want to be there. They didn't want to be there. The night was a clever and quiet battle of wills, and I refused to back down. I grabbed the microphone to begin my standard introduction. However, before I made it all the way through, you made your move. Sweeter than the song of the sirens, you YELLED: "WHY DO YOU LOOK SO ASIAN?!?" The room fell silent. And I fell in love. "What a great question," is all I could think. Why DO I look so Asian? Was it my dark hair? I quickly contemplated whether my life was all a lie and my true ancestors were residing among Harajuku girls and the panty vending machines of Japan. Maybe that's why I have such a penchant for Asian foods. I mistakenly and completely ignored you and quickly regained my composure, sure I was to speak to you soon, in private. Sadly, before I had the chance to you made your way to the bathroom and when you came back out, your pants were down. "This is not the time, my dear!-" I started to say, until I realized you were drunk. Not just on our love, (though sometimes I still tell myself that was it!), but on the liquid vice that has claimed me as its own on so many a night. When the waitress walked by you and told you to "put your dick back in your pants," you did just that. As I watched you fall asleep on the bar table before my very eyes, I couldn't help but wonder again and again; why DO I look so Asian??? So, if you'd like to get Shabu Shabu, sushi, or even just Chinese food, I just have one thing to say:
Sincerely,
The Girl That Looks SO Asian
