Missed Connection:
It was a Wednesday night. I am not used to meeting men of your caliber at The Huddle, let alone at The Huddle on a Wednesday. I was there to celebrate a friend's birthday and had stepped out onto the patio to watch my friend smoke a cigarette while I took my third tequila shot of the night. You said hello. I said hello back. My friend said you reminded her of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation which was absolutely not true because if that was the case I would have married you on the spot. As I chatted with two of my female friends you looked at us, thinking of just the right thing to say. You noted my hair color and bangs. Additionally, you noted their hair color. It was then that the perfect thing to say finally hit you like the ton of bricks that hit me when you spoke again: "You all look like Zooey Deschanel" you said proudly. My heart was broken. Was I not special? Did you not feel the same romantic pull that I felt when I first laid eyes on your bespectacled visage? Had you not put a deposit down on a home with a white picket fence and named our first born child already in your head??? But wait! My love-deprived, cynical mind had too quickly jumped ship. You looked RIGHT at me and added three words that would change my life forever: "...but ESPECIALLY you." I knew we were meant to be from that moment on, but that tequila shot had started to do its thing and my judgement was clouded like my heart has been for years. Instead of asking you to be in a committed relationship with me I walked inside and your lesser counterpart told me I had a "nice rack". How did I not run back into your arms?!? Sadly, I did not realize my misstep until I awoke this morning with nothing but a hangover and my regrets. Until we meet again...
Sincerely,
The Girl From Last Night Who Looked ESPECIALLY Like Zooey Deschanel
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