8/21/14

Missed Connection:

The story I can't wait to tell our children someday started in broad daylight and without the influence of alcohol; something I cannot say for the majority of my honorable suitors.  I had stepped outside of my office into our back alley to take a phone call, or, to have a proverbial cigarette if you will.  As I talked while pacing around the dumpster, I heard a faint noise coming from behind me from another building. Not thinking anything of it I continued my conversation and definitely did not think that that noise was directed at me. However, I of course would not be writing this if it weren't.  Still on the phone, and in the middle of explaining something, I decided to find out where the (what can only be described as a "clucking"?) sound that had been going on for at least a solid two minutes was coming from.  Imagine my surprise when I turned around and discovered that you were staring directly at me and that this sound was actually your mating call!  I must admit I am curious as to why you went with the clucking, though.  Was this a challenge to something? An unfamiliar language?  Were you mimicking a chicken as a way to ask me if I am a good cook?  I do not intend to crush your dreams, but I am not.  If this changes things for you, I understand, though I sincerely hope you still give me a chance.  Perhaps you were inquiring as to whether or not my eggs are fertile?  I cannot tell you for sure, but I would like to think so!  I would be happy to confirm this for you via medical testing; maybe this can be the agenda for our first date!  Or maybe you were simply calling me a chicken for reasons I may never understand, but will secretly hope that you will tell me one day when our children are grown and we are old and retired, doing the New York Times crossword in front of a gentle fire reminiscing about this very day.  I digress...  I stopped talking for just a second while my synapses fired away trying to make sense of it all.  Fortunately, it was long enough for you to yell at me from your building that I am "hot."  Thank you.  I hope I did not disappoint you too much when instead of dropping my phone and leaping over the fence into your arms I yelled back an irritated, "Really?" and resumed my conversation.  You'll have to forgive me, I can be quite shy.

Sincerely,

Your Hot Chicken